Excellent points, Kelly. 

I once had a prospective student that, unbeknownst to me, where I had a very close connection with his father. I would have never known that had I not taken the time to establish "mutual interest". Turns out, after some small talk in an attempt to build rapport, I discovered I had worked with his father in Europe for 5 years. Had I not taken the time to try to establish mutual interest, he may have never taken the next step to commitment to attending. After establish mutual interest, we hit it off and his father came in the next day to catch up with me. His son graduated two years later. An awesome experience.  

Moral of the story, take the time, however long it takes, to find something (anything) in common with your prospective students. Once you find commonality I think you will find it much easier to have the conversations necessary to make sure we set our students up for success.  Thanks, Tyler!

Hi Kelly and Jim, 

Thank you for your replies. I can definitely see how any tool like this would be best regarded as a flexible guide in which one can move between stages of the hierarchy as needed. Jim, your story leads me to another question. Obviously student advising is different from my original training in counseling, but it still seems that you would need to consider boundaries and how much self-disclosure is appropriate in conversations with students. For instance, I regularly mention resources that assisted me in applying to and completing graduate school or validate a student's struggles by disclosing that I'm encountered similar issues in my educational career. However, I typically focus very heavily on the student's experience and minimally self-disclose, and only when I see a very tangible reason to do so. What are your thoughts on balancing what might be appropriate self-disclosure with the two-sided conversation needed to genuinely establish mutual interest? Thanks and looking forward to your reply. 

Great question, Tyler.  For sure, it's a delicate balance, but your approach to focus heavily on the prospective student is spot-on. However, there is nothing wrong with sharing your educational experiences (above the line) with the prospective student. It helps prospective students to understand others have faced similar obstacles and have overcome them. They are not alone. Subconsciously, they know it. However, once it is vocalized (and they see others in similar situations while in school), it provides the prospective student reinforcement by letting the them know, whether it's your experience or the experience of others, you understand how they feel; other's have felt the same way, and once they became comfortable in their new routine, they found they were more organized in their lives making them feel in control and accomplished. We appreciate your insight and your questions, Tyler!